Start Stop being the nice guy dating

Stop being the nice guy dating

However, as we began to talk more, strictly on a platonic level, and he shared with me the fact that he’s not good at being able to hold down a relationship, that he has a thing for choosing women who have more beauty than substance and then weaving those revelations in with “Oh, I definitely have some issues”, I heard him differently than I’ve heard other men before who were a lot like him. Let’s just say that his friends don’t seem to be the most…polite and I’m a firm believer that friendships reveal a lot about a person.

The classic definition, however—kind, emotionally sensitive, and caring about others—holds great appeal.

This was clearly documented in a study examining the date-ability of online profiles depicting "Nice Todd," "Neutral Todd," and "Jerky Todd" (Urbaniak & Kilmann, 2003).

” as I try to force inspiration into my face through judicious prescriptions of Macallan from my good friend Dr.

Whiskey all the while cursing my laptop for betraying me by not magically producing the pages that the DMT elves promised me.

These profiles were identical except for subtle suggestions of traditional qualities of niceness—and women selected Nice Todd as the person to date twice as often as they did Neutral Todd, and more than eight times as frequently as Jerky Todd (Urbaniak & Kilmann, 2003).

A refined look at the results shows that Nice Todd was seen as the better marriage partner, steadier boyfriend, and better platonic friend (though he was not significantly preferred for short-term relationships).

In your 40s, which is me, you want a man who can fix your car. Hopefully, by the time this article is done, the men who are nice will see just how wonderful they truly are and the women (no matter how old they are) who are checking it out as well will learn to give nice guys more than a second look. And shoot, not only just hang around them, but even go on a couple of dates with them too.

That’s because I’m going to attempt to share with nice men a few things that women eventually come to realize about them. In your late teens and early 20s, nice guys are the ones who go to proms and banquets with you because they like you as a person; not just so they can get inside of your pants.

In fact, women in the study chose nice-guy profiles over insensitive-guy profiles even when those insensitive guys were more physically attractive (Urbaniak & Kilmann, 2003).

Being nice does come with some assumptions: Women typically perceive nice guys as intelligent, but less assertive (Urbaniak & Kilmann, 2003), and other evidence suggests that women assume nice men are less sexually experienced and even less attractive, but more interested in commitment (Herold & Milhausen, 1999).

Our culture is full of examples of less-than-nice guys getting the girl (or many girls)—Han Solo, Barney Stinson, Johnny Castle, and even Jordan Belfort (of ) had no trouble attracting women.